Growing a baby in my heart

On Sunday we went to a fund raising event. I was seated next to this amazing couple who, although they were a few generations older, we had a lot in common. Anyway, we got to talking about kids and something compelled me to tell her about our plans. (I guess the fact that I may not see her again, nor do we run in the same social circles helped a lot!) She was happy for us, then got quiet, turned to me and then said the most amazing thing I've ever heard:

"You're growing a baby in your heart as opposed to your belly."

I love this so much.

Just thought I'd share.

:)

Baby Dream

Last night/this morning I had my first adoption-related dream and I didn't want it to end. I fell in love with this little one so hard, I thought my heart would burst. It was a boy and he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. He had thick, black hair and soft Japanese features. I had wondered if he was hapa, like his daddy. I, unfortunately, woke up and immediately turned over to see if S. was awake so I could share this with him...but he wasn't.

I'm glad I had this dream because a fear that started creeping into my recent thoughts has been "will I truly be able to love this baby as my own?" I'm sure this is something every adoptive parent has cross their mind at least once, (just like a pregnancy - we have so much fear and anxiety to deal with) but I didn't want to feel that.

I can not wait to meet our baby. I love you already.

Projects.

I wish there were more than 24 hours in a day and I wish I was better at time management so I could accomplish everything I need AND want.

Case in point: I like becoming more domesticated, however with the business taking a huge jump in business (GREAT news) and me acting like a crazy person taking 5 classes this semester, I have ZERO time to clean the house, let alone finish crafty projects I've been wanting to do.

I still can't believe that we were trying to get pregnant through this and, since we hit a snafu there, now going for adoption! There is SO MUCH PAPERWORK and Is to dot and Ts to cross.

I pray just about daily for strength from my maker to help get us through this.

We are yet one more step closer to meeting our child. It's definitely baby steps, but we couldn't be more excited.

Anyway, I really wanted this post to be my a reference point for me to be able to come back to and start tackling things when I do get a chance to do them. So, without further adieu, here are my crafty wishes to complete:

* Mothers' Wedding Album. S. and I have been married 3 years, going on 4, and have yet to get a smaller, more personal version of our wedding album to them.

* Wedding Party Photos. Following in line with the previous bullet point, I still have yet to get my little keepsakes together for our wedding party. :-/

* Blankets for Friends. Back in like 2004, I started a blanket for one of Steven's friends, finished it, gave it to him, then was asked by the other 3 guys in his group of friends to make one for them. A few years passed and then I was hassled by one of them reminding me that I was severely slacking on this blanket. I started it up only to mess it up and now it's sitting in my guest room unfinished.

* Etsy Preserved Lemons Shop. Steve started preserving lemons last year, they became a huge hit with our chef friends, and I would really like to start a cute little side business with them. I was going to ask my friends to submit recipes to use with them and I'd send that a long with a jar of lemons.

* Cooking & Baking Classes. I really want to start cooking at home WAY more. I love the idea of finding something new to cook ad enjoy, however I'm usually way too pooped to even think about it by the time I get home. I have also started diving into baking and would seriously learn to love proper techniques.

Travel Photo Collage. Steve and I had a great trip to Europe back in 2007 and then to Japan in 2008 and took some AMAZING photos. I wanted to make a collage and get it professionally matted and framed for the house. We started on the project, only to find that most of the original photos from Europe are gone (we only have the thumbnail size) and so it came to a halt.

I am hoping that I can update once a project is finished! Hopefully that will be motivation to continue to the next project.

So what's this about health and being healthy??

Well. It happened.

S. and I started our journey to eating better and making healthier choices the beginning of last year. Wait, scratch that. We SAID that's what we wanted to do, but really didn't change a thing until June.

We began medifast and that's where our change began. We detoxed from our food-centered life and were beginning to crave earth-given goodness (fruits and veggies were on our super desired list). We took ourselves off the packaged diet early (after we lost about 30 pounds each) thinking that we should ride the craving train. Instead of gradually reintroducing foods we couldn't have on the diet back into our lives, we jumped right in.

We did very well the first couple months off. We ate whole grains sparingly, fresh homemade pasta (sparingly), loads of fruits and veggies, tons of snacks like almonds and other nuts, and were very happy with our transition back in.

Then the holidays hit.

It all seemed to unravel from there.

One cheat turned into two turned into three turned into a full on revisit of our former life.

It isn't nearly as bad as it was before hand - we still have not stepped inside a fast food restaurant, we're not eating the large portions that we used to - but we stopped burning calories, we have eaten more than supposed to, we stopped eating smaller meals in between, and we've added some not so good choices in food to the mix.

I so desire to get back to that euphoric state in my life where all I wanted to do was move, where I had amazing energy and a healthy glow, and where I craved the good, wholesome foods given to us from mother nature.

It's time to stop fluttering back and forth. It's time to once again get healthy and STAY healthy.

Intense

We got our "big ol" home study packet in the mail yesterday. I quickly opened it to find a huge, red folder filled to the max with everything but the kitchen sink.

We started reading contracts, papers, packets and then it hits S. - "WE'RE ADOPTING!!!!" was the gleeful scream that emanated from his mouth.

This paperwork is crazy intense (and rightfully, so - I mean I get it and all). They want to know our finances, our family history, our thoughts on child rearing, what will happen to the children in the event of an accident, and many other deeply intimate questions.

In addition to this, they require us to get fingerprinted, have a health exam, take a 10 hour education course on adopting, and probably a few other things I'm forgetting.

We quickly got to the paperwork to fill everything out.

Here's to the next step...