I've been talking with my husband a lot lately (it's so refreshing) and the one thing that has come up so much is how much of a planner I am. Everything needs to be planned - I need to get school done by a certain time, I wanted to be single for a certain time, I wanted to have my baby by a certain age, etc. etc. etc.
The more I thought about all of these plans I had made and compared them with what actually happened, the more I'm realizing that I haven't been in tune with what Jesus wants.
Let's step back so you can see what I'm talking about:
I ended an engagement at the ripe ol' age of 18 years old. We weren't together very long, but it was long enough to get together, fall in love, move in, get engaged, and have it all end. It wasn't a great relationship - actually there wasn't any part of it that was good - and so I rebounded hard.
My plan was to go to college, be single, have fun, and enjoy life without any man interrupting it. Everything started off great, I was close to graduating from community college and was accepted into Colo State Fort Collins for the Fall 2003 semester. Life was great and grand and going according to "plan".
But in the end of summer 2002, I went to a friends wedding that changed everything. I met my husband and my world flipped upside down. From then on, my life was a series of "non-planned events". Our engagement and wedding were not as planned, my education didn't go as planned, and now growing our family is not going "as planned".
I do want to clarify, that I am not not grateful for these things happening, it's just something we have noticed.
So lead back in to our conversation...S. and I are finally coming to the realization that we are not here for our own edification. We are here for a bigger purpose and that is to let people know of Jesus' love and affection for us. We may think a husband with kids and a nice house is the path to happiness, but if it isn't what God wants out of your life, then all of that means nothing. I am at peace with life and am ready to surrender to His will.
I found a great site that has online devotionals and this one rang so true to what I was talking about that I thought I'd share it:
"Full Speed Ahead in the Wrong Direction."
Showing posts with label Jesus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jesus. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Jesus has a plan
Every so often I'll get a thought in my head that seems much more like something Jesus would do than me. I usually chalk that up to Him banging something over my head to get me to listen.
Since we learned of our little complications, I had an idea pop in my head that I thought was mine. So I talked to S. and then we never spoke of it since then. We wanted to focus on bringing Baby G. home.
But then something happened and that thought popped up again and is even louder and more intense. Now I'm beginning to feel that this isn't "my" idea anymore and that Jesus is asking me to do something for Him and a couple of His children.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct[a] your paths."
Proverbs 3:5-6
Please keep us in your prayers.
Since we learned of our little complications, I had an idea pop in my head that I thought was mine. So I talked to S. and then we never spoke of it since then. We wanted to focus on bringing Baby G. home.
But then something happened and that thought popped up again and is even louder and more intense. Now I'm beginning to feel that this isn't "my" idea anymore and that Jesus is asking me to do something for Him and a couple of His children.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct[a] your paths."
Proverbs 3:5-6
Please keep us in your prayers.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Finding it hard
Recently I've been trying very hard to live more Christ-like. I want to be more loving towards people, accepting, and humbled. Instead of arguing my point, I just ignore it, don't say anything in response or give a loving side. It is not an easy task.
I'm also attempting to be less critical and judgmental of people because most of the time we don't know the full story. (Or as the old saying goes "don't judge a (wo)man unless you've walked a mile in their shoes".)
Just like everything in life that worth achieving - it's all hard. It's hard running a business, it's hard taking 5-6 classes a semester, it's hard to realize you may never be able to become pregnant, it's hard going through a process of adoption, and it's hard trying to be the good person that God calls me to be (and the person I want to lead an example for my children) - but as Philippians 4:13 reads, "I can do all things through Christ[a] who strengthens me."
I'm also attempting to be less critical and judgmental of people because most of the time we don't know the full story. (Or as the old saying goes "don't judge a (wo)man unless you've walked a mile in their shoes".)
1 “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. 3 And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." Matthew 7:1-5
Just like everything in life that worth achieving - it's all hard. It's hard running a business, it's hard taking 5-6 classes a semester, it's hard to realize you may never be able to become pregnant, it's hard going through a process of adoption, and it's hard trying to be the good person that God calls me to be (and the person I want to lead an example for my children) - but as Philippians 4:13 reads, "I can do all things through Christ[a] who strengthens me."
Sunday, April 4, 2010
He Has Risen!
As I get older and fatter I love Easter less for the chocolates cream eggs and jelly beans, and more and more because this is the day Jesus rose from the grave to save our sins.
I love you, Jesus.
5 But the angel answered and said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. 6 He is not here; for He is risen, as He said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay. 7 And go quickly and tell His disciples that He is risen from the dead, and indeed He is going before you into Galilee; there you will see Him. Behold, I have told you.”
8 So they went out quickly from the tomb with fear and great joy, and ran to bring His disciples word.
9 And as they went to tell His disciples,[b] behold, Jesus met them, saying, “Rejoice!” So they came and held Him by the feet and worshiped Him. 10 Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell My brethren to go to Galilee, and there they will see Me.”
I love you, Jesus.
Matthew 28
He Is Risen
1 Now after the Sabbath, as the first day of the week began to dawn, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary came to see the tomb. 2 And behold, there was a great earthquake; for an angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door,[a] and sat on it. 3 His countenance was like lightning, and his clothing as white as snow. 4 And the guards shook for fear of him, and became like dead men.5 But the angel answered and said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. 6 He is not here; for He is risen, as He said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay. 7 And go quickly and tell His disciples that He is risen from the dead, and indeed He is going before you into Galilee; there you will see Him. Behold, I have told you.”
8 So they went out quickly from the tomb with fear and great joy, and ran to bring His disciples word.
The Women Worship the Risen Lord
9 And as they went to tell His disciples,[b] behold, Jesus met them, saying, “Rejoice!” So they came and held Him by the feet and worshiped Him. 10 Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell My brethren to go to Galilee, and there they will see Me.”
Friday, January 15, 2010
Methinks I'm thinking too much
And not in the sense of everyone who has told me to "relax" in the past year was right, but despite the fact I love pregnancy and all that surrounds it, I've been too involved.
After all, this blog is really about our family's quest for a steady relationship with Jesus, for being healthy, for setting up the building blocks necessary for a family, and for starting that family.
Along the line, I lost sight of that and somehow tried to become solely a information hub for all things pregnancy instead of sharing things because the are relevant to our quest.
Jesus and I had a long conversation yesterday and He flat out told me why He hasn't allowed us to be pregnant yet and when we should start trying again. Last I checked, when you get a message loud and clear from the man upstairs, you do as you're told.
That being said, we have an appointment next week with the doctor where we'll ask questions, we'll pray to see if its the right move, and we'll tackle that issue. But, as for actively trying for a baby, I believe that chapter of our lives will be put on hold.
I'm not sure how Steven really feels, but I know that I actually feel relieved. We have a few things to focus on in the time He gave me to wait and I know and trust that He will take care of us.
**************
Psalm 16:1 (New King James Version)
Psalm 16
A Michtam of David.
1 Preserve me, O God, for in You I put my trust.
After all, this blog is really about our family's quest for a steady relationship with Jesus, for being healthy, for setting up the building blocks necessary for a family, and for starting that family.
Along the line, I lost sight of that and somehow tried to become solely a information hub for all things pregnancy instead of sharing things because the are relevant to our quest.
Jesus and I had a long conversation yesterday and He flat out told me why He hasn't allowed us to be pregnant yet and when we should start trying again. Last I checked, when you get a message loud and clear from the man upstairs, you do as you're told.
That being said, we have an appointment next week with the doctor where we'll ask questions, we'll pray to see if its the right move, and we'll tackle that issue. But, as for actively trying for a baby, I believe that chapter of our lives will be put on hold.
I'm not sure how Steven really feels, but I know that I actually feel relieved. We have a few things to focus on in the time He gave me to wait and I know and trust that He will take care of us.
**************
Psalm 16:1 (New King James Version)
Psalm 16
A Michtam of David.
1 Preserve me, O God, for in You I put my trust.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Merry CHRISTmas!
Steven and I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas, filled with love, family, and the giving spirit.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Life Resolutions to Make an Impact
New Years is around the corner and with the champagne, singing, party hats and blowers come promises to write more birthday cards, lose those extra "15 pounds", or a myriad of other wishes that usually fizzle out before the year even gets a chance to get started.
Typically, I abstain from making these empty promises to myself, however this year has already been monumental for both Steven and I and I wanted to see how I can continue to up the bar.
We set out to get healthy in 2009 and, as you can tell from the blog earlier, it didn't work. We had momentum and fizzled within a good solid month. However, Jesus got us back on track and June 1, 2009, we finally had had enough. I was at a whopping 209lbs and Steven at a hefty 220lbs. We joined Medifast and got control of our eating habits, which were completely disgusting. We each dropped about 30lbs (we still have some more to go, but feel incredible) and have since changed our diet. Oh, and we swore off fast food restaurants forever (with one single exception - In N Out Burger).
Steve and I have decided to eat preservative-free, locally grown organic fruits and veggies, free-range, hand-eviscerated poultry and farm fresh eggs, etc. The preservative-free part is the hardest, especially since we like to go out and try new restaurants. If we lived in West Hollywood or LA, we'd find a myriad of organic, local farm only kind of restaurants. Unfortunately, we live in the South Bay, where our options are a little more limited.
I have also started looking into 100% all-natural beauty products. I have taken myself off of shampoo and am LOVING the transition, but I have also started looking into homemade soaps for my face/body, homemade lotions and oils, and want to eventually make my own scents. I currently use bareescentuals, but am hoping I can get my adult acne under control so I can eventually go au natural. (Maybe some lipgloss)
We have become recycling pros. Our trash is SIGNIFICANTLY lower since we started recycling the plastics and paper. I take the bottles and cans to a local recycling company and we usually use the money for a meal together, or a movie, or we just put it into savings.
Lastly, but most importantly, I have finally started building/rebuilding my relationship with Jesus. I always knew I needed to get back to basics with Him and just submit, but I was either too busy, or too blessed, or too pissed, or too proud, etc. I wanted to do things my way. I didn't trust Him, I didn't want Him, I didn't want to hear things that weren't in line with what I wanted. I only with I had done this sooner. But I'm here and trying so desperately to get to know Him again, to trust, and to obey Him.
All of this occurred this year and seeing how vigilant and dedicated we really are energizes me to continue making more positive decisions in my life, in our life, especially for the future.
And, while this may be a little early, I'm writing down my continuing life resolutions and the new ones I hope to add for 2010 (some we already do, but I'd like to make more of a conscious effort):
* Set up a condo-friendly compost.
* Eat out less often (and when we do eat out more wisely).
* Post more recipes of our farmer's market delights (to be posted on Steve's food blog).
* Walk everywhere we can, take the stairs more, park as far away from the entrance as possible.
* Buy more hand-made items (I have a new love for Etsy.com).
* Walk the dogs for 25 min every work day morning.
* Find more homeopathic/integrative medicine Doctors.
* Make our family business more green.
I hope that this perhaps encourages you to think outside the box in terms of a "new years resolution" that fizzles out and dies and perhaps think about something that changes you for the better and, perhaps, impacts the world.
Looking forward to updating you guys throughout the year.
Typically, I abstain from making these empty promises to myself, however this year has already been monumental for both Steven and I and I wanted to see how I can continue to up the bar.
We set out to get healthy in 2009 and, as you can tell from the blog earlier, it didn't work. We had momentum and fizzled within a good solid month. However, Jesus got us back on track and June 1, 2009, we finally had had enough. I was at a whopping 209lbs and Steven at a hefty 220lbs. We joined Medifast and got control of our eating habits, which were completely disgusting. We each dropped about 30lbs (we still have some more to go, but feel incredible) and have since changed our diet. Oh, and we swore off fast food restaurants forever (with one single exception - In N Out Burger).
Steve and I have decided to eat preservative-free, locally grown organic fruits and veggies, free-range, hand-eviscerated poultry and farm fresh eggs, etc. The preservative-free part is the hardest, especially since we like to go out and try new restaurants. If we lived in West Hollywood or LA, we'd find a myriad of organic, local farm only kind of restaurants. Unfortunately, we live in the South Bay, where our options are a little more limited.
I have also started looking into 100% all-natural beauty products. I have taken myself off of shampoo and am LOVING the transition, but I have also started looking into homemade soaps for my face/body, homemade lotions and oils, and want to eventually make my own scents. I currently use bareescentuals, but am hoping I can get my adult acne under control so I can eventually go au natural. (Maybe some lipgloss)
We have become recycling pros. Our trash is SIGNIFICANTLY lower since we started recycling the plastics and paper. I take the bottles and cans to a local recycling company and we usually use the money for a meal together, or a movie, or we just put it into savings.
Lastly, but most importantly, I have finally started building/rebuilding my relationship with Jesus. I always knew I needed to get back to basics with Him and just submit, but I was either too busy, or too blessed, or too pissed, or too proud, etc. I wanted to do things my way. I didn't trust Him, I didn't want Him, I didn't want to hear things that weren't in line with what I wanted. I only with I had done this sooner. But I'm here and trying so desperately to get to know Him again, to trust, and to obey Him.
All of this occurred this year and seeing how vigilant and dedicated we really are energizes me to continue making more positive decisions in my life, in our life, especially for the future.
And, while this may be a little early, I'm writing down my continuing life resolutions and the new ones I hope to add for 2010 (some we already do, but I'd like to make more of a conscious effort):
* Set up a condo-friendly compost.
* Eat out less often (and when we do eat out more wisely).
* Post more recipes of our farmer's market delights (to be posted on Steve's food blog).
* Walk everywhere we can, take the stairs more, park as far away from the entrance as possible.
* Buy more hand-made items (I have a new love for Etsy.com).
* Walk the dogs for 25 min every work day morning.
* Find more homeopathic/integrative medicine Doctors.
* Make our family business more green.
I hope that this perhaps encourages you to think outside the box in terms of a "new years resolution" that fizzles out and dies and perhaps think about something that changes you for the better and, perhaps, impacts the world.
Looking forward to updating you guys throughout the year.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Patience
He told me that He is trying to instill patience in me, yet I'm having such a hard time submitting to His plan and trusting that things will work out.
Let me back up a bit. Yesterday I was driving home and I starting a conversation with God. Out of no where I blurted out "I know I need patience!!!" and then, as if I was off actually talking with Jesus only to realize I was in my car, I shook my head and wondered where that came from.
Then He began to show me substantial moments in my recent life where He, in fact, made me wait. Did I realize it at the time? No way! Who does?
The 2 flashes He showed me were of our courtship/engagement/wedding and then of me joining the family business.
See, with the first flash, I had known since we started dating that S. was meant for me and that I would marry him. I began growing very impatient around our 2nd year of dating, thinking it was time to get married. By the 3rd year, even though I loved him more than anything, I was beginning to doubt the longevity of the relationship and really started putting on the pressure.
Little did I know that Jesus had the situation covered and that I needed to be patient.
On December 10, 2005, 3 years and 2 months after we started dating seriously, S. asked me to marry him in the most incredible way a woman could imagine and 10 months later we were married in the best wedding EVER.
Instead of working on my time, I should have submitted to Jesus and worked on His.
Second flash was me working with the family business.
Back in 2004-2005, S. and I wanted to work together as it just seemed easier. Yes, that was our reasoning. Looking back it seems obvious that it wouldn't have been the right move then, but we were young and I was incredibly...impatient. (Who would have guessed?) Time passed and I gained more experience in the marketing field, our relationship grew, we matured, even got married, and eventually the time came when it all fell into place - and worked!
It wasn't until the end of 2008 when I finally joined the family business and everything, for the most part, has worked out beautifully.
Jesus provides, as He told me, however I just need to be patient and trust Him.
And while I continually struggle with succumbing to His will and plan, almost always it seems like I'm fighting God, I feel more comfort knowing that He will provide for us, but on His time, and I just need to trust Him.
*********
2 Samuel 22:31:
31 As for God, His way is perfect;
The word of the LORD is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
Jeremiah 17:7
7 Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
And whose hope is the LORD.
Psalm 37:7
7 Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him;
Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.
Hebrews 6:13-15
13 For when God made a promise to Abraham, because He could swear by no one greater, He swore by Himself, 14 saying, “Surely blessing I will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply you.”[d] 15 And so, after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise.
Let me back up a bit. Yesterday I was driving home and I starting a conversation with God. Out of no where I blurted out "I know I need patience!!!" and then, as if I was off actually talking with Jesus only to realize I was in my car, I shook my head and wondered where that came from.
Then He began to show me substantial moments in my recent life where He, in fact, made me wait. Did I realize it at the time? No way! Who does?
The 2 flashes He showed me were of our courtship/engagement/wedding and then of me joining the family business.
See, with the first flash, I had known since we started dating that S. was meant for me and that I would marry him. I began growing very impatient around our 2nd year of dating, thinking it was time to get married. By the 3rd year, even though I loved him more than anything, I was beginning to doubt the longevity of the relationship and really started putting on the pressure.
Little did I know that Jesus had the situation covered and that I needed to be patient.
On December 10, 2005, 3 years and 2 months after we started dating seriously, S. asked me to marry him in the most incredible way a woman could imagine and 10 months later we were married in the best wedding EVER.
Instead of working on my time, I should have submitted to Jesus and worked on His.
Second flash was me working with the family business.
Back in 2004-2005, S. and I wanted to work together as it just seemed easier. Yes, that was our reasoning. Looking back it seems obvious that it wouldn't have been the right move then, but we were young and I was incredibly...impatient. (Who would have guessed?) Time passed and I gained more experience in the marketing field, our relationship grew, we matured, even got married, and eventually the time came when it all fell into place - and worked!
It wasn't until the end of 2008 when I finally joined the family business and everything, for the most part, has worked out beautifully.
Jesus provides, as He told me, however I just need to be patient and trust Him.
And while I continually struggle with succumbing to His will and plan, almost always it seems like I'm fighting God, I feel more comfort knowing that He will provide for us, but on His time, and I just need to trust Him.
*********
2 Samuel 22:31:
31 As for God, His way is perfect;
The word of the LORD is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
Jeremiah 17:7
7 Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
And whose hope is the LORD.
Psalm 37:7
7 Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him;
Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.
Hebrews 6:13-15
13 For when God made a promise to Abraham, because He could swear by no one greater, He swore by Himself, 14 saying, “Surely blessing I will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply you.”[d] 15 And so, after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
7 Days of Thanks, Day 1
I am most thankful for the love shown by my God when He sent His only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for our sins.
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son,
that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16
I watched my church service online this past Sunday and our pastor had a great message about the goodness, greatness, and graciousness of Jesus. In spite of the fact I have been less of a servant to Him, He has continued to pour blessings on Steven and myself. We couldn't feel less deserving of His gifts, yet He continues to be the Greatest God I could ever serve.
1 I will extol You, my God, O King;
And I will bless Your name forever and ever.
2 Every day I will bless You,
And I will praise Your name forever and ever.
3 Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised;
And His greatness is unsearchable. Psalm 145:1-3
The LORD is my strength and song,
And He has become my salvation;
He is my God, and I will praise Him;
My father’s God, and I will exalt Him. Exodus 15:2
Thank you Jesus for all you have and haven't blessed me and my family and friend with this year and every year.
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son,
that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16
I watched my church service online this past Sunday and our pastor had a great message about the goodness, greatness, and graciousness of Jesus. In spite of the fact I have been less of a servant to Him, He has continued to pour blessings on Steven and myself. We couldn't feel less deserving of His gifts, yet He continues to be the Greatest God I could ever serve.
1 I will extol You, my God, O King;
And I will bless Your name forever and ever.
2 Every day I will bless You,
And I will praise Your name forever and ever.
3 Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised;
And His greatness is unsearchable. Psalm 145:1-3
The LORD is my strength and song,
And He has become my salvation;
He is my God, and I will praise Him;
My father’s God, and I will exalt Him. Exodus 15:2
Thank you Jesus for all you have and haven't blessed me and my family and friend with this year and every year.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Trust in the Lord
Life's been a little hectic and unstable (who's isn't) and I found comfort in Psalm 91, so I thought I would share (from Bible.com):
He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress; my God, in Him will I trust."
Surely He shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler and from the noisome pestilence.
He shall cover thee with His feathers, and under His wings shalt thou trust; His truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
Thou shalt not be afraid of the terror by night, nor of the arrow that flieth by day,
nor of the pestilence that walketh in darkness, nor of the destruction that layeth waste at noonday.
A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand, but it shall not come nigh thee.
Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
Because thou hast made the LORD, who is my refuge, even the Most High, thy habitation, there shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.
For He shall give His angels charge over thee to keep thee in all thy ways.
They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.
Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder; the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample underfoot.
"Because he hath set his love upon Me, therefore will I deliver him; I will set him on high, because he hath known My name.
He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life will I satisfy him, and show him My salvation."
Psalm 91
He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress; my God, in Him will I trust."
Surely He shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler and from the noisome pestilence.
He shall cover thee with His feathers, and under His wings shalt thou trust; His truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
Thou shalt not be afraid of the terror by night, nor of the arrow that flieth by day,
nor of the pestilence that walketh in darkness, nor of the destruction that layeth waste at noonday.
A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand, but it shall not come nigh thee.
Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
Because thou hast made the LORD, who is my refuge, even the Most High, thy habitation, there shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.
For He shall give His angels charge over thee to keep thee in all thy ways.
They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.
Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder; the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample underfoot.
"Because he hath set his love upon Me, therefore will I deliver him; I will set him on high, because he hath known My name.
He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life will I satisfy him, and show him My salvation."
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