So what has happened since I last posted? A lot. So much so that I feel like I should split up the next few blog posts to tackle each subject: work, my personal health, our adoption, etc.
Part of the reason, though, I stopped blogging was time. I felt I was dedicating my time to everything except what I needed to and so I thought I should take a break. Another reason is I felt that I may put way too much out there into the universe. Truth is, regardless of whether it was too much or not, it was my therapy and since I stopped I've felt the weight of everything being bottled up.
It's amazing how many feelings one can go through in a short amount of time. It really is.
The events in Japan have rocked me to my core and I cry a lot. Our family in Tokyo is safe, but very shaken and scared. I thank God daily that they are safe. The numbers of dead and missing continue to rise and stories that warm your heart and break them at the same time keep surfacing. The people of Japan continue to show integrity and compassion towards one another and it makes me realize there is still good in this world.
And yes, the events in Japan have definitely affected our adoption.
Speaking of adoption, much has happened. On NYE, as I previously blogged, we were told that the program grew, it was now closed, and that there were only 9 placements in 2010. Then, we were told in February that there has only been one placement, inferring that it was slow. Our last update in the beginning of March finally had some good news! A placement had occurred.
Then the bomb was dropped: The US Embassy in Tokyo added an extra mandatory step to the adoption process. Bio moms are now required to make a trip to Tokyo to meet with an older, American male with a translator, to go through an interview process.
Why is this bad? You have to understand Japanese culture - the Japanese are very quiet and reserved people. They are very closed and do not like talking about personal issues. Many of the bio mothers are ashamed of their pregnancy (it came about through infidelity or unwed) and don't want to really acknowledge it. So having to sit in front of not one, but 2 people, and air out their dirty laundry, so to speak, is very shameful. Additionally, the bio mothers come from all areas of Japan. Many have not been out of their town and are scared to head to Tokyo - a city that reminds me of New York City.
After talking with our agency, it seems that having this requirement is necessary, however the execution is something we need to see about getting changed - maybe have a Japanese representative of the US Embassy head to the towns of the bio mothers and get a statement that way? I wish I knew where to begin.
With everything that has happened, I've crawled into a shell. I've been lucky to have befriended a group of amazing women that has allowed me to be as open and honest about everything in my life as possible and haven't passed any judgement. It's because of them, I realized I have consistently swallowed my emotions since this whole thing started.
And by whole thing I mean since S. and I decided to start a family together.
I don't think I've cried my eyes out or yelled or screamed or event threw a massive pity party. I've had down times, but nothing that went to my core uprooted everything I've compacted down in the past 3 years and let it out. The whole time I've been wondering why should I? I can't change anything, I can't make it better or worse, so why should I wallow. Instead, I swallowed it and carried on - taking on the nurturing role to my friends who were going through what I felt was worse than what I was: divorces, pregnancy loss, trying to conceive issues, identity crisis, etc.
All of this has definitely been affecting my mental and physical health. I took a pregnancy test a couple weeks ago, stupid, silly me, and it was negative. Except this time I cried, I cried but good. I was so upset - not at the fact it was negative - but the fact I continued to get my hopes up and it always comes crashing down. I was yelling at myself for feeling something, but why? Why don't I have the right to feel?
I've packed on a good amount of weight through all of this. Something that is completely opposite of what my goal was. I wanted to lose all of this excess weight by the time we traveled to Japan, as last time I felt like the fat American, and I wasn't doing any of that. I found comfort in food and alcohol and it was starting to show.
I finally decided to do something about it.
I now have a personal trainer and I use my stationary bike (my Christmas gift from S.) every day. The exercise gives me an endorphin rush that feels like an emotional cleanse. We have also cut back on a lot of indulgences.
I wish I could say in this few months time that everything is amazing and back to normal - it isn't. I do long for Baby G. to be in our arms, I know my husband and I need a vacation from work, and I still am trying to find the internal release button that will allow myself to feel and mourn completely, but I feel like better days are ahead and am glad to be back.
Showing posts with label Japan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Japan. Show all posts
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Saturday, October 9, 2010
The dreams are rolling in!
So last Wednesday, the 29th, I had this beautiful baby dream about my friend's baby. She's currently in the home stretch of her pregnancy, estimated to arrive around mid October, and apparently I'm WAY more excited than I let on. I had a dream that I got sent a text saying she had her baby girl with stats and a pic of her husband, her, and her baby. They named her Madeline Grace and were calling her Maddie.
I woke up with the most awesome feeling and so I talked to both of my friends, as they have been having a slight name crisis and they loved it! One can only hope my dream names her! ;)
Then on Thursday night, the 7th, I have a dream that this same friend and I were swimming in a pool. I watched this water bag float up and I tell her that her water is gone so we may need to get ready for baby. We almost make it to the hospital, because for some reason we were walking there (gotta love dreams), and my friend looks at me with this determined face and says "I've got to push!" and with one push she caught her little girl. The baby was healthy, beautiful, and latched right on to momma's breast. Obviously I really can not wait for this little one to make her entrance.
Now last night, the 8th, I had another dream - this time about Baby G! We got a call and I couldn't stop smiling but tears were rolling down my face. T. (our adoption coordinator) exclaimed in excitement "It's a BOY!". I immediately hung up and posted those words on Facebook (uh oh, it may be intervention time). We traveled to Japan around Thanksgiving and our little boy was so tiny and adorable and S. and I had never been more in love. I didn't want the dream to end.
<3
I woke up with the most awesome feeling and so I talked to both of my friends, as they have been having a slight name crisis and they loved it! One can only hope my dream names her! ;)
Then on Thursday night, the 7th, I have a dream that this same friend and I were swimming in a pool. I watched this water bag float up and I tell her that her water is gone so we may need to get ready for baby. We almost make it to the hospital, because for some reason we were walking there (gotta love dreams), and my friend looks at me with this determined face and says "I've got to push!" and with one push she caught her little girl. The baby was healthy, beautiful, and latched right on to momma's breast. Obviously I really can not wait for this little one to make her entrance.
Now last night, the 8th, I had another dream - this time about Baby G! We got a call and I couldn't stop smiling but tears were rolling down my face. T. (our adoption coordinator) exclaimed in excitement "It's a BOY!". I immediately hung up and posted those words on Facebook (uh oh, it may be intervention time). We traveled to Japan around Thanksgiving and our little boy was so tiny and adorable and S. and I had never been more in love. I didn't want the dream to end.
<3
Monday, October 4, 2010
How it will all go down
I've actually been getting this question a LOT and thought I should make a blog post about it. It's a great question, just not one I want to repeat a thousand times. haha.
So here's how it will all go down when we get "the call":
1.) The bio mom will be in the hospital with the baby for about a week after the baby is born. Within that time she will decide if this is the right decision for her. If she decides to give up her parental rights, she has 3 days from the date she signs to the date it's "finalized".
2.) When it's finalized, the parents-to-be (PTB) get a phone call saying they have a baby.
3.) The agency in Japan then files paperwork with the Embassy to get a court date for the PTB to appear with the baby.
4.) A couple weeks later the court notifies the agency of a date (usually about 2-3 weeks from that notification).
5.) The agency notifies the PTB immediately, which gives them about a 2-3 week (give or take one or two) leeway to book travel and get out there.
6.) The PTB will then travel to Japan for a couple weeks. They welcome their baby into their family a couple days after their arrival and begin a whirlwind of appointments with doctors, the embassy, etc.
7.) The PTB then come home as a family.
:D
When the PTB see their baby for the first time the baby is anywhere from 5-10 weeks old. It really depends on many factors - when the bio mom chooses to sign over the child, when the agency submits paperwork to get an appointment, and when the Japanese government is able to get an appointment.
So here's how it will all go down when we get "the call":
1.) The bio mom will be in the hospital with the baby for about a week after the baby is born. Within that time she will decide if this is the right decision for her. If she decides to give up her parental rights, she has 3 days from the date she signs to the date it's "finalized".
2.) When it's finalized, the parents-to-be (PTB) get a phone call saying they have a baby.
3.) The agency in Japan then files paperwork with the Embassy to get a court date for the PTB to appear with the baby.
4.) A couple weeks later the court notifies the agency of a date (usually about 2-3 weeks from that notification).
5.) The agency notifies the PTB immediately, which gives them about a 2-3 week (give or take one or two) leeway to book travel and get out there.
6.) The PTB will then travel to Japan for a couple weeks. They welcome their baby into their family a couple days after their arrival and begin a whirlwind of appointments with doctors, the embassy, etc.
7.) The PTB then come home as a family.
:D
When the PTB see their baby for the first time the baby is anywhere from 5-10 weeks old. It really depends on many factors - when the bio mom chooses to sign over the child, when the agency submits paperwork to get an appointment, and when the Japanese government is able to get an appointment.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Now we just wait.
Yesterday afternoon I headed back to my desk to find an email from our agency coordinator.
Our photo book is approved.
I was shocked as I just had a breakdown about it earlier in the morning. The stars are aligning - God is watching over us.
I ran in to S.'s office yelling and clapping letting him know we're approved. He smiles and says "hooray! BABY!" I head back to my desk to respond to the email (as there was a question in there), I hit send and lose my mind. I begin crying and crying and S. comes over and gives me the biggest hug I've ever received from him. He whispers how much he loves me and how he's so excited that we are literally one step closer to our family.
I tell him I cry tears of happiness, tears of release - the past (almost) 9 months of paperwork, appointments, meetings, and waiting has all come to a head.
We are now a waiting family - waiting to be told a mother has chosen S. and I to parent their baby, waiting to meet our baby, waiting to be a family of 3.
Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers.
Our photo book is approved.
I was shocked as I just had a breakdown about it earlier in the morning. The stars are aligning - God is watching over us.
I ran in to S.'s office yelling and clapping letting him know we're approved. He smiles and says "hooray! BABY!" I head back to my desk to respond to the email (as there was a question in there), I hit send and lose my mind. I begin crying and crying and S. comes over and gives me the biggest hug I've ever received from him. He whispers how much he loves me and how he's so excited that we are literally one step closer to our family.
I tell him I cry tears of happiness, tears of release - the past (almost) 9 months of paperwork, appointments, meetings, and waiting has all come to a head.
We are now a waiting family - waiting to be told a mother has chosen S. and I to parent their baby, waiting to meet our baby, waiting to be a family of 3.
Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Check Check One, One, Two
We are still here - breathing, working, thinking, sleeping. So bare with us as the reason for no recent posts is because:
* I have been researching Japan, as stated in many other posts, and wanted to put together a great post (or two) on my findings. So it's taking time stringing all my thoughts together. I never thought I'd actually want to write another research paper outside of college, but alas here I am doing just that.
* I am also going through an amazing spiritual journey that I definitely want to share. And just like my Japan post, it is taking time to put together.
Aside from that, all else is quiet on the Western Front. I have set up twitter and a facebook page (scroll down on the right hand side of the blog) to give quick, little updates so be sure to follow or like that!
Much love.
M. & S.
* I have been researching Japan, as stated in many other posts, and wanted to put together a great post (or two) on my findings. So it's taking time stringing all my thoughts together. I never thought I'd actually want to write another research paper outside of college, but alas here I am doing just that.
* I am also going through an amazing spiritual journey that I definitely want to share. And just like my Japan post, it is taking time to put together.
Aside from that, all else is quiet on the Western Front. I have set up twitter and a facebook page (scroll down on the right hand side of the blog) to give quick, little updates so be sure to follow or like that!
Much love.
M. & S.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Adoption Super Mega Update
Well S. and I are *this* much closer to our family and we couldn't be more excited, frustrated, anxious, happy, etc.
Last week we met with our agency and got a lot of questions answered and even got the whole run down of how things will go once we get "the call."
We submitted our letter to the birth mother and are waiting to get the finalized version back. We are also waiting for the photo book to come in so I can send it to the agency to get approval. So, no, we're not on the waiting list yet and as soon as we are, you will all know. I'm sure those of you in the same state as us will hear our shrieks of delight.
So here's some answers to the many, many questions we have been getting:
Can you chose gender?
No. And we like it this way. We're adding to our family, not buying a car with certain "packages".
How old will the child you're adopting be?
It depends, but anywhere from 5-10 weeks old.
When will you know you've been chosen?
Also a "depends" answer. Some bio mothers know in the beginning of their pregnancy they want to adopt, so we may know sooner. Others may be in denial and not even seek the adoption agency's help until after the baby is born.
Will you ever meet the bio mom?
We technically could, but generally the bio mom doesn't want to.
Why?
Well let's take a step back and look at the differences of American and Japanese cultures. Japan is a very honorable and respectable culture. Many, if not all, of the women who go to our agency in Japan are there because of a "dishonorable" act - infidelity, out of wedlock, young mother - and the whole pregnancy would harm their reputation and their family's reputation. By adopting out the baby, they are able to remove the child from their Koseki - family registry and not be shamed. So by meeting us or keeping in touch with us, they are admitting to this and it undoes everything they are working against. (I'll be writing more extensive posts on the Japanese culture and the differences between the US and Japan throughout our wait.)
How long of a notice do you have before you travel?
We have about 2-3 weeks, generally, from the time we "get the call" to the time we need to be in Japan.
How long will you be in Japan for?
About 2 weeks, but we're thinking about staying an extra week just to account for jetlag and sightseeing.
How long after you arrive will you get your baby?
1-2 days (or it really depends on when we arrive. If we decide to come in earlier to get used to the time difference, it may be longer.
Here's some misc. questions we've been asked and the answers to go with:
How much is this costing you?
This is a personal question, thank you for playing.
Why did you decide to adopt?
S. and I want nothing more than to have a family - him, me, and little feet running around our house. When one door was closed, another was opened and God showed us the path He wanted us to take. :D
*****
I'll now open up the floor to answer any additional questions you may have of the process/adoption/etc.
We are so excited and can not wait for the totally awesome updates like 'we're on the list' or 'we got the call!'.
Much love!
Last week we met with our agency and got a lot of questions answered and even got the whole run down of how things will go once we get "the call."
We submitted our letter to the birth mother and are waiting to get the finalized version back. We are also waiting for the photo book to come in so I can send it to the agency to get approval. So, no, we're not on the waiting list yet and as soon as we are, you will all know. I'm sure those of you in the same state as us will hear our shrieks of delight.
So here's some answers to the many, many questions we have been getting:
Can you chose gender?
No. And we like it this way. We're adding to our family, not buying a car with certain "packages".
How old will the child you're adopting be?
It depends, but anywhere from 5-10 weeks old.
When will you know you've been chosen?
Also a "depends" answer. Some bio mothers know in the beginning of their pregnancy they want to adopt, so we may know sooner. Others may be in denial and not even seek the adoption agency's help until after the baby is born.
Will you ever meet the bio mom?
We technically could, but generally the bio mom doesn't want to.
Why?
Well let's take a step back and look at the differences of American and Japanese cultures. Japan is a very honorable and respectable culture. Many, if not all, of the women who go to our agency in Japan are there because of a "dishonorable" act - infidelity, out of wedlock, young mother - and the whole pregnancy would harm their reputation and their family's reputation. By adopting out the baby, they are able to remove the child from their Koseki - family registry and not be shamed. So by meeting us or keeping in touch with us, they are admitting to this and it undoes everything they are working against. (I'll be writing more extensive posts on the Japanese culture and the differences between the US and Japan throughout our wait.)
How long of a notice do you have before you travel?
We have about 2-3 weeks, generally, from the time we "get the call" to the time we need to be in Japan.
How long will you be in Japan for?
About 2 weeks, but we're thinking about staying an extra week just to account for jetlag and sightseeing.
How long after you arrive will you get your baby?
1-2 days (or it really depends on when we arrive. If we decide to come in earlier to get used to the time difference, it may be longer.
Here's some misc. questions we've been asked and the answers to go with:
How much is this costing you?
This is a personal question, thank you for playing.
Why did you decide to adopt?
S. and I want nothing more than to have a family - him, me, and little feet running around our house. When one door was closed, another was opened and God showed us the path He wanted us to take. :D
*****
I'll now open up the floor to answer any additional questions you may have of the process/adoption/etc.
We are so excited and can not wait for the totally awesome updates like 'we're on the list' or 'we got the call!'.
Much love!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
We have a date!
S. and I got "the email" from our agency giving us a few dates to come up and visit them. This is basically our last thing to do before we're 100% on the waiting list. We will have nothing left to do on our end! It's very exciting as they will have a small group session to possibly go over how it will go whenever we get to head to Japan, but then we break into single sessions and ask our questions, etc.
The only date that worked for us was the first one and it's coming up QUICK! For those of you that we know in the area - we will send you a message to hopefully be able to meet up!
The only date that worked for us was the first one and it's coming up QUICK! For those of you that we know in the area - we will send you a message to hopefully be able to meet up!
Friday, July 16, 2010
Breastfeeding an adopted newborn
Through so much research (I really should think about getting paid for all that I do! haha) I found out that women can actually generate breast milk and therefore breastfeed a child even if they did not birth one.
S. and I are actually really excited at the thought of being able to breastfeed our baby as it will create a great bonding experience for us. (Not to mention the great health benefits derived from breastfeeding.)
I plan on switching to an all-Japanese food diet once we get our call to travel and will be taking the natural herbs and supplements to try and generate breast milk. All I can do is hope that all goes well.
For those interested in reading more here are my wonderful resources:
Le Leche League International: Adoptive Breastfeeding
kellymom.com::Adoptive Breastfeeding
asklenore.com - breastfeeding & induced lactation
Aus. Breastfeeding Assoc.: Breastfeeding the adopted child
S. and I are actually really excited at the thought of being able to breastfeed our baby as it will create a great bonding experience for us. (Not to mention the great health benefits derived from breastfeeding.)
I plan on switching to an all-Japanese food diet once we get our call to travel and will be taking the natural herbs and supplements to try and generate breast milk. All I can do is hope that all goes well.
For those interested in reading more here are my wonderful resources:
Le Leche League International: Adoptive Breastfeeding
kellymom.com::Adoptive Breastfeeding
asklenore.com - breastfeeding & induced lactation
Aus. Breastfeeding Assoc.: Breastfeeding the adopted child
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Alert the troops!
Apparently I'm the only one strong enough to keep news of our adoption from the world (that's actually supposed to be funny as I'm the blogger who has been doing nothing but 'alerting the world'). After a conversation with my mother and S. - I was made to feel like I'm making this bigger than it is and there's no reason to hold back from the world.
What were my reservations? Well after numerous adoption groups and blogs, it seems many adoptive parents got insanely overwhelmed because all their friends and families would constantly ask for updates. They would also get the occasional rude comment. Those were things I didn't feel ready for and felt content with keeping our little journey a secret to the immediate friends and family.
But, alas, my husband is getting anxious to spread the word and I know my mother is right behind him. We're 7 months into our journey and after August - it's anybody's guess as to when we'll be picked to adopt Baby G. from Japan.
So, dear trusted blog readers, friends, and family who have followed this journey with us - it is time to let the whole world know that we will be proud parents of a lovely child (or two! - God willing) from Japan.
What were my reservations? Well after numerous adoption groups and blogs, it seems many adoptive parents got insanely overwhelmed because all their friends and families would constantly ask for updates. They would also get the occasional rude comment. Those were things I didn't feel ready for and felt content with keeping our little journey a secret to the immediate friends and family.
But, alas, my husband is getting anxious to spread the word and I know my mother is right behind him. We're 7 months into our journey and after August - it's anybody's guess as to when we'll be picked to adopt Baby G. from Japan.
So, dear trusted blog readers, friends, and family who have followed this journey with us - it is time to let the whole world know that we will be proud parents of a lovely child (or two! - God willing) from Japan.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Fundraising for Baby G!
S. and I are now in fund-raising mode to help with Baby G's arrival!
Aside from the yard sale to be hosted this weekend and our copious amounts of recyclables to be returned for cash, I reached out to 2 people (one being my sister from another set of parents) to help raise some funds through their direct-sales businesses.
These online shows will go from July 1st to July 22nd so you have plenty of time to shop, shop, shop. And PLEASE pass this post on to your friends (barring they aren't mutual friends of ours as there are still a lot of people who do not know about our awesome plans!).
AVON:
Simply visit http://mary-bethlawson.avonrepresentative.com/ to get your Avon shopping on.
Mary Beth will be donating 100% of the proceeds to help with the adoption. Simply use the code BabyG at checkout and viola!
If you have any questions, you can contact me at thrivingforbaby[at]gmail.com or Mary Beth directly at amazingavon[at]cox.net.
COOKIE LEE:
My old 'boss', Bonnie, (as I used to be a rep) is amazing and is donating all of her profits to our cause (and I couldn't be more humbled by her gracious heart).
Check out the catalog at her website: www.cookielee.biz/bonnieorona
Simply place your order with me by emailing thrivingforbaby[at]gmail.com by July 22nd and everything will be shipped to you.
PAYPAL
Quite honestly, this means so much more to us than an item from a registry. And we thank you from the bottom of our humbled and loving hearts.
Thank you,
Mr. & Mrs. G.
P.S. - If you're in our area and have junk that you need to get rid of and would like to donate it to our yard sale, we'd be totally honored to take it in by Friday. :D
Aside from the yard sale to be hosted this weekend and our copious amounts of recyclables to be returned for cash, I reached out to 2 people (one being my sister from another set of parents) to help raise some funds through their direct-sales businesses.
These online shows will go from July 1st to July 22nd so you have plenty of time to shop, shop, shop. And PLEASE pass this post on to your friends (barring they aren't mutual friends of ours as there are still a lot of people who do not know about our awesome plans!).
AVON:
Simply visit http://mary-bethlawson.avonrepresentative.com/ to get your Avon shopping on.
Mary Beth will be donating 100% of the proceeds to help with the adoption. Simply use the code BabyG at checkout and viola!
If you have any questions, you can contact me at thrivingforbaby[at]gmail.com or Mary Beth directly at amazingavon[at]cox.net.
COOKIE LEE:
My old 'boss', Bonnie, (as I used to be a rep) is amazing and is donating all of her profits to our cause (and I couldn't be more humbled by her gracious heart).
Check out the catalog at her website: www.cookielee.biz/bonnieorona
Simply place your order with me by emailing thrivingforbaby[at]gmail.com by July 22nd and everything will be shipped to you.
PAYPAL
Quite honestly, this means so much more to us than an item from a registry. And we thank you from the bottom of our humbled and loving hearts.
Thank you,
Mr. & Mrs. G.
P.S. - If you're in our area and have junk that you need to get rid of and would like to donate it to our yard sale, we'd be totally honored to take it in by Friday. :D
Sunday, June 27, 2010
And we're there!
Yesterday S. and I came home from a conference to find an awesome packet from the US Customs and Immigration services that held an I-171H - our Notice of Favorable Determination Concerning Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition! haha
We filed this on 4/22 and it completed 6/16.
S. and I are also going to attempt to finish our photo album and our letter to the birth mother tonight so we can send out our packet by the end of this week.
We got a preliminary email from our agency saying that they will be booking meetings with the Japan coordinator at the end of August so we are more than excited for this. Once this is all done, we are then placed on the waiting list for our Japanese adoption.
Here's to August!
We filed this on 4/22 and it completed 6/16.
S. and I are also going to attempt to finish our photo album and our letter to the birth mother tonight so we can send out our packet by the end of this week.
We got a preliminary email from our agency saying that they will be booking meetings with the Japan coordinator at the end of August so we are more than excited for this. Once this is all done, we are then placed on the waiting list for our Japanese adoption.
Here's to August!
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Inner debate
I've been waffling on whether or not we should just "let the cat out of the bag", so to speak, and just update everyone or keep on trekkin' as planned and let our baby announcement do the talking after everything is said and done.
S. couldn't care less with what we do and supports whatever is done...I guess we'll just leave it be for now.
On another note - we're in another waiting game. We completed our last round of government fingerprints a week and change ago and are now waiting on our letter saying that we're super clear to head overseas to adopt.
This weekend S. and I are finishing up our photo book and our letter to a prospective birth mother. Once that and our letter is finished we then wait to head in to our Adoption agency in August to meet with everyone and go over our completed dossier. We then get put on a list! Hearing that we are finally prospective adoptive parents will just be one of our happiest days ever because at that point it is all out of our hands in the hands of Jesus and a birth mom.
While S. and I try to remain patient, it gets a little harder at each passing month that we do not have a baby to hold and love of our own. Your prayers and support help so much and for that, we sincerely thank you.
S. couldn't care less with what we do and supports whatever is done...I guess we'll just leave it be for now.
On another note - we're in another waiting game. We completed our last round of government fingerprints a week and change ago and are now waiting on our letter saying that we're super clear to head overseas to adopt.
This weekend S. and I are finishing up our photo book and our letter to a prospective birth mother. Once that and our letter is finished we then wait to head in to our Adoption agency in August to meet with everyone and go over our completed dossier. We then get put on a list! Hearing that we are finally prospective adoptive parents will just be one of our happiest days ever because at that point it is all out of our hands in the hands of Jesus and a birth mom.
While S. and I try to remain patient, it gets a little harder at each passing month that we do not have a baby to hold and love of our own. Your prayers and support help so much and for that, we sincerely thank you.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
12 hours and counting!
I know it's just a simple appointment to get fingerprints, but it feels like such a HUGE milestone to us and we can't help but be excited and giddy.
I also recently "met" another mother who is adopting from Japan. She is a wealth of information and pointed me to some really great places where other adoptive parents gather and exchange info. I didn't know we needed it until I had it!!
Everything is slowly becoming more real. I visualize the day we get a call saying our baby's birth mother has picked us, I dream about holding Baby G. for the first time and crying, and I get goosebumps thinking about our "welcoming ceremony" for Baby G where everyone will get to meet him/her and dote upon our baby. And, if God sees it in His plan, hopefully we'll be coming home with 2 babies!!
Thank you all for your continued support. S. & I love you more than words can explain.
I also recently "met" another mother who is adopting from Japan. She is a wealth of information and pointed me to some really great places where other adoptive parents gather and exchange info. I didn't know we needed it until I had it!!
Everything is slowly becoming more real. I visualize the day we get a call saying our baby's birth mother has picked us, I dream about holding Baby G. for the first time and crying, and I get goosebumps thinking about our "welcoming ceremony" for Baby G where everyone will get to meet him/her and dote upon our baby. And, if God sees it in His plan, hopefully we'll be coming home with 2 babies!!
Thank you all for your continued support. S. & I love you more than words can explain.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
S. & M. + 8
Eh, doesn't have as nice of a ring to it like Jon & Kate Plus 8...although now it's sans Jon, whopeee!
Anyway, getting on topic - the longer we wait, and rather impatiently, for our Baby G. the more kids we end up wanting. It's a crazy cycle. And one I think Jesus is telling us we're to raise a village. HA!
S. and I have actually asked on our application to be considered for twins!! While it's a severe long shot (as Japan's multiple rates are very low) the possibility is still there. So with that being said, we'd LOVE your prayers that we somehow manage to get the one Japanese mother pregnant with twins.
Anyway, getting on topic - the longer we wait, and rather impatiently, for our Baby G. the more kids we end up wanting. It's a crazy cycle. And one I think Jesus is telling us we're to raise a village. HA!
S. and I have actually asked on our application to be considered for twins!! While it's a severe long shot (as Japan's multiple rates are very low) the possibility is still there. So with that being said, we'd LOVE your prayers that we somehow manage to get the one Japanese mother pregnant with twins.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Reasearching Japan
Because of my passion for natural birth, breastfeeding, etc, I have started researching Japan's views on all of this to see how our baby might enter in this world. Are they like China, with a 50% C-section rate? Do they only formula feed or do they encourage breast milk? What is their prenatal care like?
Breastfeeding
http://www.llli.org/NB/NBSepOct03p181.html
According to Le Leche Group, Japan seems to be more similar to the US (due to our influence from WW2) with regards to formula vs breast milk. They reintroduced the breast back in the 70's but there's still many who think the bottle is better.
I also found this table from Japan's Ministry of Health that shows a survey performed of women who exclusively breastfed, formula fed, and did a mixture of both:
http://www.mhlw.go.jp/english/database/db-hw/babies02/12.html
Surprisingly, in this 2005 study, it seems that more people did a mix, then breastfed, and formula fed exclusively last. But the difference between Breast feeding only and formula feeding only is large. (This makes me feel better.)
Infant Mortality
These numbers, collected again from the Ministry of Health, about infant mortality seem do have a direct correlation with Le Leche Group's historical account when Western Medicine came to Japan.
http://www.mhlw.go.jp/english/database/db-hw/report/3.html
Infant mortality was sky high in the 1950's and have since drastically decreased.
...
And in my research I came across this piece of a vital stat in the Ministry's website:
Table 2. Trends in live births and percent distribution by legitimate child and
illegitimate child, 1992-2006
http://www.mhlw.go.jp/english/database/db-hw/report/1.html
It then goes on to document the nationalities of these parents, which I thought was severely interesting... (hence why it wasn't put in it's own header).
...
My research isn't done, so come on back for more later!
Breastfeeding
http://www.llli.org/NB/NBSepOct03p181.html
According to Le Leche Group, Japan seems to be more similar to the US (due to our influence from WW2) with regards to formula vs breast milk. They reintroduced the breast back in the 70's but there's still many who think the bottle is better.
I also found this table from Japan's Ministry of Health that shows a survey performed of women who exclusively breastfed, formula fed, and did a mixture of both:
http://www.mhlw.go.jp/english/database/db-hw/babies02/12.html
Surprisingly, in this 2005 study, it seems that more people did a mix, then breastfed, and formula fed exclusively last. But the difference between Breast feeding only and formula feeding only is large. (This makes me feel better.)
Infant Mortality
These numbers, collected again from the Ministry of Health, about infant mortality seem do have a direct correlation with Le Leche Group's historical account when Western Medicine came to Japan.
http://www.mhlw.go.jp/english/database/db-hw/report/3.html
Infant mortality was sky high in the 1950's and have since drastically decreased.
...
And in my research I came across this piece of a vital stat in the Ministry's website:
Table 2. Trends in live births and percent distribution by legitimate child and
illegitimate child, 1992-2006
http://www.mhlw.go.jp/english/database/db-hw/report/1.html
It then goes on to document the nationalities of these parents, which I thought was severely interesting... (hence why it wasn't put in it's own header).
...
My research isn't done, so come on back for more later!
Monday, April 19, 2010
Hellllllloooooooo home study!
So in the middle of our hectic Monday back in the office, S. says "hey you see we got our home study yet?" Me: "no, COOL!" So I did one read through, went back to work trying to calm the crazy, then I went back to it and did a happy dance in my chair.
IT'S HERE! We only have a couple more items to check off and we're ready to be chosen by a birth mother. :)
My best guesstimate is that we'll be 'available' as parents around end of August/beginning of September.
So excited! Now back to work I go. :)
IT'S HERE! We only have a couple more items to check off and we're ready to be chosen by a birth mother. :)
My best guesstimate is that we'll be 'available' as parents around end of August/beginning of September.
So excited! Now back to work I go. :)
Sunday, March 28, 2010
We have been deemed "fit parents"
Or something like that. But the bottom line is we've got the 100% green light and now we go through home study revision phase.
Here's our checklist:
* Passport (because ours got stolen last August...still bitter about that. I lost my first 2 stamps from ever being outside the country! UGH!)
* Letter to our prospective birth mother. I'm both nervous as anything and excited to write this letter. This is our opportunity to reach out to a brave woman in another country, to tell her why S. and I will do our best to give that child everything she can't, and why we are so humbled at her strength. It's our brief connection that transcends race, culture, and religion.
* More Government Forms to fill out and send in.
* Visit to the Agency.
* Then we wait...
Our emotions are so indescribable right now.
Here's our checklist:
* Passport (because ours got stolen last August...still bitter about that. I lost my first 2 stamps from ever being outside the country! UGH!)
* Letter to our prospective birth mother. I'm both nervous as anything and excited to write this letter. This is our opportunity to reach out to a brave woman in another country, to tell her why S. and I will do our best to give that child everything she can't, and why we are so humbled at her strength. It's our brief connection that transcends race, culture, and religion.
* More Government Forms to fill out and send in.
* Visit to the Agency.
* Then we wait...
Our emotions are so indescribable right now.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Is it really almost April??
This year is flying, and a little too fast for my comfort. At least the semester is about 6 weeks away from being over. (Although I dread the up coming weeks filled with papers, project, and finals!)
Even though my month of little to no technology is almost over, I caved in yesterday and went on to my sites. To my amazement I logged on to fb and realized it really isn't that fun and nothing I should be wasting my free time on. Don't get me wrong, I love socializing with my friends, but I'd prefer face-to-face or even an individual text or email over the public displays of "I'm a better friend than all of you."
I've hopped on twice since yesterday and really to only post on a networking site that I co-chair.
I did, however, miss the crap out of this blog. So, I'm back.
S. and I had our first home study visit a couple weeks ago and couldn't be more excited about this process. In our discussions with our social worker, we had this really therapeutic talk about privacy. Long story short, she put some things into perspective that made me realize I needed to change about this blog and our lives.
So with that being said, we're pulling back on the information strings here at Thriving for Baby, and sticking to generalities. :)
Even though my month of little to no technology is almost over, I caved in yesterday and went on to my sites. To my amazement I logged on to fb and realized it really isn't that fun and nothing I should be wasting my free time on. Don't get me wrong, I love socializing with my friends, but I'd prefer face-to-face or even an individual text or email over the public displays of "I'm a better friend than all of you."
I've hopped on twice since yesterday and really to only post on a networking site that I co-chair.
I did, however, miss the crap out of this blog. So, I'm back.
S. and I had our first home study visit a couple weeks ago and couldn't be more excited about this process. In our discussions with our social worker, we had this really therapeutic talk about privacy. Long story short, she put some things into perspective that made me realize I needed to change about this blog and our lives.
So with that being said, we're pulling back on the information strings here at Thriving for Baby, and sticking to generalities. :)
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Growing a baby in my heart
On Sunday we went to a fund raising event. I was seated next to this amazing couple who, although they were a few generations older, we had a lot in common. Anyway, we got to talking about kids and something compelled me to tell her about our plans. (I guess the fact that I may not see her again, nor do we run in the same social circles helped a lot!) She was happy for us, then got quiet, turned to me and then said the most amazing thing I've ever heard:
"You're growing a baby in your heart as opposed to your belly."
I love this so much.
Just thought I'd share.
:)
"You're growing a baby in your heart as opposed to your belly."
I love this so much.
Just thought I'd share.
:)
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Baby Dream
Last night/this morning I had my first adoption-related dream and I didn't want it to end. I fell in love with this little one so hard, I thought my heart would burst. It was a boy and he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. He had thick, black hair and soft Japanese features. I had wondered if he was hapa, like his daddy. I, unfortunately, woke up and immediately turned over to see if S. was awake so I could share this with him...but he wasn't.
I'm glad I had this dream because a fear that started creeping into my recent thoughts has been "will I truly be able to love this baby as my own?" I'm sure this is something every adoptive parent has cross their mind at least once, (just like a pregnancy - we have so much fear and anxiety to deal with) but I didn't want to feel that.
I can not wait to meet our baby. I love you already.
I'm glad I had this dream because a fear that started creeping into my recent thoughts has been "will I truly be able to love this baby as my own?" I'm sure this is something every adoptive parent has cross their mind at least once, (just like a pregnancy - we have so much fear and anxiety to deal with) but I didn't want to feel that.
I can not wait to meet our baby. I love you already.
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