Adoption Super Mega Update

Well S. and I are *this* much closer to our family and we couldn't be more excited, frustrated, anxious, happy, etc.

Last week we met with our agency and got a lot of questions answered and even got the whole run down of how things will go once we get "the call."

We submitted our letter to the birth mother and are waiting to get the finalized version back. We are also waiting for the photo book to come in so I can send it to the agency to get approval. So, no, we're not on the waiting list yet and as soon as we are, you will all know. I'm sure those of you in the same state as us will hear our shrieks of delight.

So here's some answers to the many, many questions we have been getting:

Can you chose gender?

No. And we like it this way. We're adding to our family, not buying a car with certain "packages".

How old will the child you're adopting be?

It depends, but anywhere from 5-10 weeks old.

When will you know you've been chosen?

Also a "depends" answer. Some bio mothers know in the beginning of their pregnancy they want to adopt, so we may know sooner. Others may be in denial and not even seek the adoption agency's help until after the baby is born.

Will you ever meet the bio mom?

We technically could, but generally the bio mom doesn't want to.

Why?

Well let's take a step back and look at the differences of American and Japanese cultures. Japan is a very honorable and respectable culture. Many, if not all, of the women who go to our agency in Japan are there because of a "dishonorable" act - infidelity, out of wedlock, young mother - and the whole pregnancy would harm their reputation and their family's reputation. By adopting out the baby, they are able to remove the child from their Koseki - family registry and not be shamed. So by meeting us or keeping in touch with us, they are admitting to this and it undoes everything they are working against. (I'll be writing more extensive posts on the Japanese culture and the differences between the US and Japan throughout our wait.)

How long of a notice do you have before you travel?

We have about 2-3 weeks, generally, from the time we "get the call" to the time we need to be in Japan.

How long will you be in Japan for?

About 2 weeks, but we're thinking about staying an extra week just to account for jetlag and sightseeing.

How long after you arrive will you get your baby?

1-2 days (or it really depends on when we arrive. If we decide to come in earlier to get used to the time difference, it may be longer.

Here's some misc. questions we've been asked and the answers to go with:

How much is this costing you?

This is a personal question, thank you for playing.

Why did you decide to adopt?

S. and I want nothing more than to have a family - him, me, and little feet running around our house. When one door was closed, another was opened and God showed us the path He wanted us to take. :D

*****

I'll now open up the floor to answer any additional questions you may have of the process/adoption/etc.

We are so excited and can not wait for the totally awesome updates like 'we're on the list' or 'we got the call!'.

Much love!