Last night/this morning I had my first adoption-related dream and I didn't want it to end. I fell in love with this little one so hard, I thought my heart would burst. It was a boy and he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. He had thick, black hair and soft Japanese features. I had wondered if he was hapa, like his daddy. I, unfortunately, woke up and immediately turned over to see if S. was awake so I could share this with him...but he wasn't.
I'm glad I had this dream because a fear that started creeping into my recent thoughts has been "will I truly be able to love this baby as my own?" I'm sure this is something every adoptive parent has cross their mind at least once, (just like a pregnancy - we have so much fear and anxiety to deal with) but I didn't want to feel that.
I can not wait to meet our baby. I love you already.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Projects.
I wish there were more than 24 hours in a day and I wish I was better at time management so I could accomplish everything I need AND want.
Case in point: I like becoming more domesticated, however with the business taking a huge jump in business (GREAT news) and me acting like a crazy person taking 5 classes this semester, I have ZERO time to clean the house, let alone finish crafty projects I've been wanting to do.
I still can't believe that we were trying to get pregnant through this and, since we hit a snafu there, now going for adoption! There is SO MUCH PAPERWORK and Is to dot and Ts to cross.
I pray just about daily for strength from my maker to help get us through this.
We are yet one more step closer to meeting our child. It's definitely baby steps, but we couldn't be more excited.
Anyway, I really wanted this post to be my a reference point for me to be able to come back to and start tackling things when I do get a chance to do them. So, without further adieu, here are my crafty wishes to complete:
* Mothers' Wedding Album. S. and I have been married 3 years, going on 4, and have yet to get a smaller, more personal version of our wedding album to them.
* Wedding Party Photos. Following in line with the previous bullet point, I still have yet to get my little keepsakes together for our wedding party. :-/
* Blankets for Friends. Back in like 2004, I started a blanket for one of Steven's friends, finished it, gave it to him, then was asked by the other 3 guys in his group of friends to make one for them. A few years passed and then I was hassled by one of them reminding me that I was severely slacking on this blanket. I started it up only to mess it up and now it's sitting in my guest room unfinished.
* Etsy Preserved Lemons Shop. Steve started preserving lemons last year, they became a huge hit with our chef friends, and I would really like to start a cute little side business with them. I was going to ask my friends to submit recipes to use with them and I'd send that a long with a jar of lemons.
* Cooking & Baking Classes. I really want to start cooking at home WAY more. I love the idea of finding something new to cook ad enjoy, however I'm usually way too pooped to even think about it by the time I get home. I have also started diving into baking and would seriously learn to love proper techniques.
Travel Photo Collage. Steve and I had a great trip to Europe back in 2007 and then to Japan in 2008 and took some AMAZING photos. I wanted to make a collage and get it professionally matted and framed for the house. We started on the project, only to find that most of the original photos from Europe are gone (we only have the thumbnail size) and so it came to a halt.
I am hoping that I can update once a project is finished! Hopefully that will be motivation to continue to the next project.
Case in point: I like becoming more domesticated, however with the business taking a huge jump in business (GREAT news) and me acting like a crazy person taking 5 classes this semester, I have ZERO time to clean the house, let alone finish crafty projects I've been wanting to do.
I still can't believe that we were trying to get pregnant through this and, since we hit a snafu there, now going for adoption! There is SO MUCH PAPERWORK and Is to dot and Ts to cross.
I pray just about daily for strength from my maker to help get us through this.
We are yet one more step closer to meeting our child. It's definitely baby steps, but we couldn't be more excited.
Anyway, I really wanted this post to be my a reference point for me to be able to come back to and start tackling things when I do get a chance to do them. So, without further adieu, here are my crafty wishes to complete:
* Mothers' Wedding Album. S. and I have been married 3 years, going on 4, and have yet to get a smaller, more personal version of our wedding album to them.
* Wedding Party Photos. Following in line with the previous bullet point, I still have yet to get my little keepsakes together for our wedding party. :-/
* Blankets for Friends. Back in like 2004, I started a blanket for one of Steven's friends, finished it, gave it to him, then was asked by the other 3 guys in his group of friends to make one for them. A few years passed and then I was hassled by one of them reminding me that I was severely slacking on this blanket. I started it up only to mess it up and now it's sitting in my guest room unfinished.
* Etsy Preserved Lemons Shop. Steve started preserving lemons last year, they became a huge hit with our chef friends, and I would really like to start a cute little side business with them. I was going to ask my friends to submit recipes to use with them and I'd send that a long with a jar of lemons.
* Cooking & Baking Classes. I really want to start cooking at home WAY more. I love the idea of finding something new to cook ad enjoy, however I'm usually way too pooped to even think about it by the time I get home. I have also started diving into baking and would seriously learn to love proper techniques.
Travel Photo Collage. Steve and I had a great trip to Europe back in 2007 and then to Japan in 2008 and took some AMAZING photos. I wanted to make a collage and get it professionally matted and framed for the house. We started on the project, only to find that most of the original photos from Europe are gone (we only have the thumbnail size) and so it came to a halt.
I am hoping that I can update once a project is finished! Hopefully that will be motivation to continue to the next project.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
So what's this about health and being healthy??
Well. It happened.
S. and I started our journey to eating better and making healthier choices the beginning of last year. Wait, scratch that. We SAID that's what we wanted to do, but really didn't change a thing until June.
We began medifast and that's where our change began. We detoxed from our food-centered life and were beginning to crave earth-given goodness (fruits and veggies were on our super desired list). We took ourselves off the packaged diet early (after we lost about 30 pounds each) thinking that we should ride the craving train. Instead of gradually reintroducing foods we couldn't have on the diet back into our lives, we jumped right in.
We did very well the first couple months off. We ate whole grains sparingly, fresh homemade pasta (sparingly), loads of fruits and veggies, tons of snacks like almonds and other nuts, and were very happy with our transition back in.
Then the holidays hit.
It all seemed to unravel from there.
One cheat turned into two turned into three turned into a full on revisit of our former life.
It isn't nearly as bad as it was before hand - we still have not stepped inside a fast food restaurant, we're not eating the large portions that we used to - but we stopped burning calories, we have eaten more than supposed to, we stopped eating smaller meals in between, and we've added some not so good choices in food to the mix.
I so desire to get back to that euphoric state in my life where all I wanted to do was move, where I had amazing energy and a healthy glow, and where I craved the good, wholesome foods given to us from mother nature.
It's time to stop fluttering back and forth. It's time to once again get healthy and STAY healthy.
S. and I started our journey to eating better and making healthier choices the beginning of last year. Wait, scratch that. We SAID that's what we wanted to do, but really didn't change a thing until June.
We began medifast and that's where our change began. We detoxed from our food-centered life and were beginning to crave earth-given goodness (fruits and veggies were on our super desired list). We took ourselves off the packaged diet early (after we lost about 30 pounds each) thinking that we should ride the craving train. Instead of gradually reintroducing foods we couldn't have on the diet back into our lives, we jumped right in.
We did very well the first couple months off. We ate whole grains sparingly, fresh homemade pasta (sparingly), loads of fruits and veggies, tons of snacks like almonds and other nuts, and were very happy with our transition back in.
Then the holidays hit.
It all seemed to unravel from there.
One cheat turned into two turned into three turned into a full on revisit of our former life.
It isn't nearly as bad as it was before hand - we still have not stepped inside a fast food restaurant, we're not eating the large portions that we used to - but we stopped burning calories, we have eaten more than supposed to, we stopped eating smaller meals in between, and we've added some not so good choices in food to the mix.
I so desire to get back to that euphoric state in my life where all I wanted to do was move, where I had amazing energy and a healthy glow, and where I craved the good, wholesome foods given to us from mother nature.
It's time to stop fluttering back and forth. It's time to once again get healthy and STAY healthy.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Intense
We got our "big ol" home study packet in the mail yesterday. I quickly opened it to find a huge, red folder filled to the max with everything but the kitchen sink.
We started reading contracts, papers, packets and then it hits S. - "WE'RE ADOPTING!!!!" was the gleeful scream that emanated from his mouth.
This paperwork is crazy intense (and rightfully, so - I mean I get it and all). They want to know our finances, our family history, our thoughts on child rearing, what will happen to the children in the event of an accident, and many other deeply intimate questions.
In addition to this, they require us to get fingerprinted, have a health exam, take a 10 hour education course on adopting, and probably a few other things I'm forgetting.
We quickly got to the paperwork to fill everything out.
Here's to the next step...
We started reading contracts, papers, packets and then it hits S. - "WE'RE ADOPTING!!!!" was the gleeful scream that emanated from his mouth.
This paperwork is crazy intense (and rightfully, so - I mean I get it and all). They want to know our finances, our family history, our thoughts on child rearing, what will happen to the children in the event of an accident, and many other deeply intimate questions.
In addition to this, they require us to get fingerprinted, have a health exam, take a 10 hour education course on adopting, and probably a few other things I'm forgetting.
We quickly got to the paperwork to fill everything out.
Here's to the next step...
Friday, January 29, 2010
The process has begun
I love the transformations this blog has taken in a year.
Crunchy pregnancy
Health
Awareness
Infertility
and now Adoption. :)
S. and I have officially started the process of adoption. Because I've only told a few select people, I figured I'd just end here. We have decided to not tell the world yet - as a matter of fact we won't be telling anyone until we have our baby in our arms. But you lucky few who read this blog get to take this journey with us as it happens. The only thing we ask is for our privacy among our circles of friends.
At any rate, here's what we've done, where we're at, and what needs to happen:
There is a LOT of paperwork involved in adoption, so I'm told, and we are starting to see this. We first put in an application that's like "I'm 99% serious about this" to let them know we're interested. Then they send us more paperwork, you call references, read over the materials and if you're 100% serious, then you send in the retainer agreement with a non-refundable check to get the process started.
That is what we've done so far.
Oh, I totally forgot to mention - we are adopting internationally from Japan! Our program is pretty strict as Japan has a different outlook on adoption than the US. Here are the qualifications:
1. Under 43 and over 25
2. Married at least 3 years
3. No other children (either adopted or biological)
We are not allowed to chose gender, either, and the birth mother chooses us.
What we have next in our docket is to get our dossier started (which is basically a portfolio of references, bureaucratic documents, a photo album and a written story, and a bunch of other things), as well as our home study. The home study is where a social worker comes in to our house and interviews us, checks out our home, we get a health check, a fingerprint scan, and they check our finances. It's basically like a life invasion, but they want to make sure we can care for the baby. The home study takes about 4 months to complete.
After all that is said and done, then we wait. We wait for Jesus to tell a birth mom to chose us to be the parents of their child. :) This process can be relatively quick, as some references I talked to told us, or it can be lengthy. Much like trying for a biological baby, I suppose.
S. and I are more than excited and I'm constantly praying that everything goes according to His plan. I love prayer warriors, so please keep us in your hearts and minds.
Crunchy pregnancy
Health
Awareness
Infertility
and now Adoption. :)
S. and I have officially started the process of adoption. Because I've only told a few select people, I figured I'd just end here. We have decided to not tell the world yet - as a matter of fact we won't be telling anyone until we have our baby in our arms. But you lucky few who read this blog get to take this journey with us as it happens. The only thing we ask is for our privacy among our circles of friends.
At any rate, here's what we've done, where we're at, and what needs to happen:
There is a LOT of paperwork involved in adoption, so I'm told, and we are starting to see this. We first put in an application that's like "I'm 99% serious about this" to let them know we're interested. Then they send us more paperwork, you call references, read over the materials and if you're 100% serious, then you send in the retainer agreement with a non-refundable check to get the process started.
That is what we've done so far.
Oh, I totally forgot to mention - we are adopting internationally from Japan! Our program is pretty strict as Japan has a different outlook on adoption than the US. Here are the qualifications:
1. Under 43 and over 25
2. Married at least 3 years
3. No other children (either adopted or biological)
We are not allowed to chose gender, either, and the birth mother chooses us.
What we have next in our docket is to get our dossier started (which is basically a portfolio of references, bureaucratic documents, a photo album and a written story, and a bunch of other things), as well as our home study. The home study is where a social worker comes in to our house and interviews us, checks out our home, we get a health check, a fingerprint scan, and they check our finances. It's basically like a life invasion, but they want to make sure we can care for the baby. The home study takes about 4 months to complete.
After all that is said and done, then we wait. We wait for Jesus to tell a birth mom to chose us to be the parents of their child. :) This process can be relatively quick, as some references I talked to told us, or it can be lengthy. Much like trying for a biological baby, I suppose.
S. and I are more than excited and I'm constantly praying that everything goes according to His plan. I love prayer warriors, so please keep us in your hearts and minds.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Sent
You don't know how many different saved drafts of a post I have regarding this whole chapter in our lives.
I want to tell the whole world everything and nothing all at once.
Even right now I've been writing, writing, writing, and then deleting.
I will leave this post thanking my prayer warriors for their continued support of our family. We sincerely appreciate you.
Stay tuned as there will be an update on us shortly. :)
I want to tell the whole world everything and nothing all at once.
Even right now I've been writing, writing, writing, and then deleting.
I will leave this post thanking my prayer warriors for their continued support of our family. We sincerely appreciate you.
Stay tuned as there will be an update on us shortly. :)
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Prayer request
Jesus has been talking to us very loudly recently and I couldn't be more happy at that fact. I mean how many times do we sit there and say, "JESUS, Can you PLEASE be more clear about what you want me to do?!" or "Please just get down here and tell me the plan?!" And here He is, doing just that.
I feel very empowered by this, however I know it won't be easy to follow. I have distractions every which way I turn and I know I'm not helping S. at all.
At any rate, here is where we stand:
First, I was told that Jesus wants to instill patience in me (as it's never been a virtue of mine). And with that, He blatantly told me to wait for a baby.
At the time I thought He meant to just stop trying for a baby until this time next year (and it still may be this) but we just had a new twist in the story that will lead me to our prayer request.
We met with S.'s doctor today. He really feels that surgery is the answer, but gave us the long laundry list of potential complications. I know that is standard, but I think it hit both of us hard. A part of me was like "DO THE SURGERY HAVE A BABY!!!!!" but everything else was not jiving with that. And, apparently, it was the same with S..
We said we'd need to talk it over and will let them know if we wanted to schedule the surgery.
On our way back to the office, we kind of talked it up and I mentioned adoption. Typically S. is usually against adoption - no I take that back - he's not against, he just would rather try for our own baby as much as possible. Anyway, he sat there for a second and then nodded his head.
First it really excited me that the mention of adoption was now seeming like a viable option, but then I also realized just how much he was wanting to avoid surgery. My heart breaks for the love of my life.
At any rate, we have a LOT of prayer ahead of us to make the decision Jesus wants for us and that is where my request for prayer comes in. Thank you - it means a lot to us.
I feel very empowered by this, however I know it won't be easy to follow. I have distractions every which way I turn and I know I'm not helping S. at all.
At any rate, here is where we stand:
First, I was told that Jesus wants to instill patience in me (as it's never been a virtue of mine). And with that, He blatantly told me to wait for a baby.
At the time I thought He meant to just stop trying for a baby until this time next year (and it still may be this) but we just had a new twist in the story that will lead me to our prayer request.
We met with S.'s doctor today. He really feels that surgery is the answer, but gave us the long laundry list of potential complications. I know that is standard, but I think it hit both of us hard. A part of me was like "DO THE SURGERY HAVE A BABY!!!!!" but everything else was not jiving with that. And, apparently, it was the same with S..
We said we'd need to talk it over and will let them know if we wanted to schedule the surgery.
On our way back to the office, we kind of talked it up and I mentioned adoption. Typically S. is usually against adoption - no I take that back - he's not against, he just would rather try for our own baby as much as possible. Anyway, he sat there for a second and then nodded his head.
First it really excited me that the mention of adoption was now seeming like a viable option, but then I also realized just how much he was wanting to avoid surgery. My heart breaks for the love of my life.
At any rate, we have a LOT of prayer ahead of us to make the decision Jesus wants for us and that is where my request for prayer comes in. Thank you - it means a lot to us.
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