Finding it hard

Recently I've been trying very hard to live more Christ-like. I want to be more loving towards people, accepting, and humbled. Instead of arguing my point, I just ignore it, don't say anything in response or give a loving side. It is not an easy task.

I'm also attempting to be less critical and judgmental of people because most of the time we don't know the full story. (Or as the old saying goes "don't judge a (wo)man unless you've walked a mile in their shoes".)

1 “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. 3 And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." Matthew 7:1-5

Just like everything in life that worth achieving - it's all hard. It's hard running a business, it's hard taking 5-6 classes a semester, it's hard to realize you may never be able to become pregnant, it's hard going through a process of adoption, and it's hard trying to be the good person that God calls me to be (and the person I want to lead an example for my children) - but as Philippians 4:13 reads, "I can do all things through Christ[a] who strengthens me."

Surely make you lose your mind

I'm talking about Life in the Fast Lane...

This semester is coming to a rapid close and I have 3 reports to get done within the next 2 weeks. I'm freaking out a lot.

S. and I finally cleaned the bejesus out of our house this passed Sunday. It felt awesome. We even invited friends over for a BBQ to relax afterwards. Hopefully we'll be able to stay on top of it so it doesn't get to the crazy out of hand mess we just had.

We are also in a huge project at work working on updating our marketing plan. I need to get a bunch of stuff done by the end of this week so we can have our site, collateral, and whatnot, live by the end of May. That's in 4 weeks and I'm having a heart attack just thinking about it. This coupled with my 3 reports is making me a gigantic mess.

I was going to take 4 classes over the summer, but after talking with S., and realizing that our quality of life right now is not a happy one, I decided to take the summer off and focus on our company. (And take a MUCH needed break.)

As for my future semesters, I'm going to stick with a 3-4 class load (much easier than my current 5) and just suck up the fact that I'll be graduating a year later than I anticipated. This makes me very sad and I begin to wonder if I should just suck it up now and bear a huge load...who knows, though. I just want to get this done before I have a child.

Guess who learned how to use tags!

After about a year of blogging, I finally learned how to use the freakin' tags. So I'm currently "cleaning house" to make sure everything is properly tagged and categorized.

It'll be like a REAL blog now!

Reasearching Japan

Because of my passion for natural birth, breastfeeding, etc, I have started researching Japan's views on all of this to see how our baby might enter in this world. Are they like China, with a 50% C-section rate? Do they only formula feed or do they encourage breast milk? What is their prenatal care like?


Breastfeeding
http://www.llli.org/NB/NBSepOct03p181.html

According to Le Leche Group, Japan seems to be more similar to the US (due to our influence from WW2) with regards to formula vs breast milk. They reintroduced the breast back in the 70's but there's still many who think the bottle is better.

I also found this table from Japan's Ministry of Health that shows a survey performed of women who exclusively breastfed, formula fed, and did a mixture of both:
http://www.mhlw.go.jp/english/database/db-hw/babies02/12.html

Surprisingly, in this 2005 study, it seems that more people did a mix, then breastfed, and formula fed exclusively last. But the difference between Breast feeding only and formula feeding only is large. (This makes me feel better.)

Infant Mortality
These numbers, collected again from the Ministry of Health, about infant mortality seem do have a direct correlation with Le Leche Group's historical account when Western Medicine came to Japan.

http://www.mhlw.go.jp/english/database/db-hw/report/3.html

Infant mortality was sky high in the 1950's and have since drastically decreased.

...

And in my research I came across this piece of a vital stat in the Ministry's website:
Table 2. Trends in live births and percent distribution by legitimate child and
illegitimate child, 1992-2006

http://www.mhlw.go.jp/english/database/db-hw/report/1.html

It then goes on to document the nationalities of these parents, which I thought was severely interesting... (hence why it wasn't put in it's own header).

...

My research isn't done, so come on back for more later!

Realizing that changes seriously need to be made

I can't beat myself up too much here because I am taking on a full load at school, working my rear off at the office, and trying to still be social and active, however our lives need some major spring cleaning if we're planning on a baby.

Our house needs a SERIOUS deep clean. Like scrubbed floors/walls/cabinets, windows, etc. Every crack and crevice needs to be attacked. We walk in the house and it smells gnarly. I know it doesn't help that we have 4 animals contributing to the chaos, but seriously ICK!

My allergies are suffering because of this, too, and it makes me cringe to think about a baby in here.

I'm surprised we don't have permanent residents in our kitchen (i.e. mice or other creepy crawlies).

If you walked into my house you probably wouldn't see things as I do. You'd say something like "Oh, pfsh! M. it's not as bad as you're making it out to be. It's fine!" But truth of the matter, it's not fine. It's disgusting and it makes me sad that I am not able to dedicate the time we need to this house that will be our first child's home.

On top of that, S. and I really need to start getting a schedule in order. We need to maximize our efficiency at work so he's not taking so much work home (as he's been doing), which opens up "family time." I'm having nightmares about this continuing on as I'm playing with our baby and he's on the computer working away our baby's childhood.

But as for good news, we've been through about a month+ of scheduling our meals (we had a rough week a little while back). We're cooking at home more and it's way healthier. We haven't brought in any red-meat to our house since then, either. It's either tofu, ground turkey, chicken, or some kind of fish. It's great!

Hellllllloooooooo home study!

So in the middle of our hectic Monday back in the office, S. says "hey you see we got our home study yet?" Me: "no, COOL!" So I did one read through, went back to work trying to calm the crazy, then I went back to it and did a happy dance in my chair.

IT'S HERE! We only have a couple more items to check off and we're ready to be chosen by a birth mother. :)

My best guesstimate is that we'll be 'available' as parents around end of August/beginning of September.

So excited! Now back to work I go. :)

Adoption in the news: Russian boy sent back alone

So I know there's probably a lot more to the story than we're being told, but given what we have, this woman has some serious issues. I can not get this story out of my head. My heart breaks for families waiting for their children from Russia, who won't be coming home now and my soul is angered that a woman would do this to her child.