The process has begun

I love the transformations this blog has taken in a year.

Crunchy pregnancy
Health
Awareness
Infertility

and now Adoption. :)

S. and I have officially started the process of adoption. Because I've only told a few select people, I figured I'd just end here. We have decided to not tell the world yet - as a matter of fact we won't be telling anyone until we have our baby in our arms. But you lucky few who read this blog get to take this journey with us as it happens. The only thing we ask is for our privacy among our circles of friends.

At any rate, here's what we've done, where we're at, and what needs to happen:

There is a LOT of paperwork involved in adoption, so I'm told, and we are starting to see this. We first put in an application that's like "I'm 99% serious about this" to let them know we're interested. Then they send us more paperwork, you call references, read over the materials and if you're 100% serious, then you send in the retainer agreement with a non-refundable check to get the process started.

That is what we've done so far.

Oh, I totally forgot to mention - we are adopting internationally from Japan! Our program is pretty strict as Japan has a different outlook on adoption than the US. Here are the qualifications:

1. Under 43 and over 25
2. Married at least 3 years
3. No other children (either adopted or biological)

We are not allowed to chose gender, either, and the birth mother chooses us.

What we have next in our docket is to get our dossier started (which is basically a portfolio of references, bureaucratic documents, a photo album and a written story, and a bunch of other things), as well as our home study. The home study is where a social worker comes in to our house and interviews us, checks out our home, we get a health check, a fingerprint scan, and they check our finances. It's basically like a life invasion, but they want to make sure we can care for the baby. The home study takes about 4 months to complete.

After all that is said and done, then we wait. We wait for Jesus to tell a birth mom to chose us to be the parents of their child. :) This process can be relatively quick, as some references I talked to told us, or it can be lengthy. Much like trying for a biological baby, I suppose.

S. and I are more than excited and I'm constantly praying that everything goes according to His plan. I love prayer warriors, so please keep us in your hearts and minds.

Sent

You don't know how many different saved drafts of a post I have regarding this whole chapter in our lives.

I want to tell the whole world everything and nothing all at once.

Even right now I've been writing, writing, writing, and then deleting.


I will leave this post thanking my prayer warriors for their continued support of our family. We sincerely appreciate you.

Stay tuned as there will be an update on us shortly. :)

Prayer request

Jesus has been talking to us very loudly recently and I couldn't be more happy at that fact. I mean how many times do we sit there and say, "JESUS, Can you PLEASE be more clear about what you want me to do?!" or "Please just get down here and tell me the plan?!" And here He is, doing just that.

I feel very empowered by this, however I know it won't be easy to follow. I have distractions every which way I turn and I know I'm not helping S. at all.

At any rate, here is where we stand:

First, I was told that Jesus wants to instill patience in me (as it's never been a virtue of mine). And with that, He blatantly told me to wait for a baby.

At the time I thought He meant to just stop trying for a baby until this time next year (and it still may be this) but we just had a new twist in the story that will lead me to our prayer request.

We met with S.'s doctor today. He really feels that surgery is the answer, but gave us the long laundry list of potential complications. I know that is standard, but I think it hit both of us hard. A part of me was like "DO THE SURGERY HAVE A BABY!!!!!" but everything else was not jiving with that. And, apparently, it was the same with S..

We said we'd need to talk it over and will let them know if we wanted to schedule the surgery.

On our way back to the office, we kind of talked it up and I mentioned adoption. Typically S. is usually against adoption - no I take that back - he's not against, he just would rather try for our own baby as much as possible. Anyway, he sat there for a second and then nodded his head.

First it really excited me that the mention of adoption was now seeming like a viable option, but then I also realized just how much he was wanting to avoid surgery. My heart breaks for the love of my life.

At any rate, we have a LOT of prayer ahead of us to make the decision Jesus wants for us and that is where my request for prayer comes in. Thank you - it means a lot to us.

Methinks I'm thinking too much

And not in the sense of everyone who has told me to "relax" in the past year was right, but despite the fact I love pregnancy and all that surrounds it, I've been too involved.

After all, this blog is really about our family's quest for a steady relationship with Jesus, for being healthy, for setting up the building blocks necessary for a family, and for starting that family.

Along the line, I lost sight of that and somehow tried to become solely a information hub for all things pregnancy instead of sharing things because the are relevant to our quest.

Jesus and I had a long conversation yesterday and He flat out told me why He hasn't allowed us to be pregnant yet and when we should start trying again. Last I checked, when you get a message loud and clear from the man upstairs, you do as you're told.

That being said, we have an appointment next week with the doctor where we'll ask questions, we'll pray to see if its the right move, and we'll tackle that issue. But, as for actively trying for a baby, I believe that chapter of our lives will be put on hold.

I'm not sure how Steven really feels, but I know that I actually feel relieved. We have a few things to focus on in the time He gave me to wait and I know and trust that He will take care of us.

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Psalm 16:1 (New King James Version)

Psalm 16
A Michtam of David.
1 Preserve me, O God, for in You I put my trust.

One step at a time.

Just like just about everything in life, anything that comes at you you take one step at a time. Every now and then, you get a leap thrown in there to keep you on your toes. We're currently at a step, wait, step, wait, step part of our lives.

As you have read, S. and I are suffering from infertility issues. Technically it's called Male Infertility Factor, or something ridiculous like that, but I consider it to be a team issue rather than his or mine.

Last month S. had a semen analysis performed to determine if he was producing any swimmers and if so, are they moving like they're supposed to. A couple weeks ago his doctor called with the results and we actually got decent news - he was producing a great number of sperm, they just weren't doing much of anything (also known as 'low motility'). So they ordered an ultrasound to see just what could be causing this. The doctor suspected vericocele.

We had the ultrasound done last week and got the results yesterday. Yes, as the doctor suspected, it is varicocele. Now we wait for the doctor to call about surgery.

Here's where I'm actually okay with waiting longer in between the steps. I really don't want to rush into surgery, even if it's only done on an outpatient basis and done frequently and safe, etc. What types of surgery are there? What's the success rate? Complication rate? How easy is pregnancy after? How long do we have to wait for him to be healed? The list of questions are never-ending.

Anyway, I'm sure these will all be brought up with the doctor and we will be able to make a better decision then - taking another step and then waiting.

Live, love, and, above all, Laugh!

Last night we went out with some very old family friends of S.'s (about 20 years!) and had a fabulous night. During the night, the hostess went around and shared a fond memory of how her and her guests met - giving us insight into the strangers we were meeting (as the only tie all of us had was our lovely hostess).

She gets to me and starts talking about how she feels S. and I seem to have a connection and use humor a lot in our relationship. And how she wants to get to know that more. At first I smiled and agreed, but after really thinking about it, I am so incredibly happy to have heard our relationship explained like that.

This morning S. decided to finish putting the hardware on our kitchen cabinets (finally after 3 years! haha) and he went and also fixed the handle on the freezer door. I was super happy, made a joke that he's like MacGyver, he rushes to youtube to put on the theme song, and I respond with "Ohhh! inspiration, eh?". He then responds yes, starts dancing before returning to work and I laughed my butt off.

Not that this is just as hilarious to anyone else, but my point is that this guy is my best friend and I love laughing with him and love the fact that others see that.

Our recent news hasn't even changed this fact one bit. As a matter of fact, it's the humor that has gotten us through and made us stronger. Actually, I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in all my life as I have the past week. S.'s humor is amazing and I really hope one day, if those of you reading haven't already, get to experience it.

And it seems I've put a few people in suspense with my previous posts, so I'll add a quick update here:

I ovulated late this month, so I go in for my progesterone test on the 13th.
S. went in for his ultrasound on Thursday and we'll get the results next week.

And so we have a verdict.

On Tuesday morning we got a call from my OB giving me the results of the HSG. Although I already knew it was a good outcome, I still had a moment of panic. But she reassured me that all is well and my system is working fine.

Literally 30 seconds after I hung up with my doctor, I get a call on our office line from S.'s urologist. I pass the line to him, in a high from my first call thinking we're ok, but no.

He's got a great count, but severe low motility. So they want to schedule an ultrasound and see what's going on.

We had kind of an off day the rest of the day, but after some conversation we realize there's only a few things we can do and that's that: leave it up to Jesus, as it's already in His hands, and just trust His plan, and go get the ultrasound done so we can find out more about why the low motility.

And while I'm sharing this news with you, the general public (meaning our friends, relatives and acquaintances) do not know and we'd like to keep it that way, at least for now. :) We're very appreciative.

The ultrasound is tomorrow morning.

We are very appreciative of the prayers that have been coming our way. Will continue to keep this updated. :)